We’ll Always Be His Babies

Last year (pre-Jumanji), Pumpkin and I had a bonding experience, deeper than she may ever actually know.  We were doing our normal morning routine: brushing teeth, getting dressed, eating breakfast, packing Pumpkin & Pops in the car, riding to school.  This particular morning, everything was going as usual…until we got to Pumpkin’s school.  Usually, the children, after being signed in, go to the gymnasium and stay there until the official start of the school day.  This morning, however, Murphy’s Law was present and accounted for.  If it could go wrong, it did.  Through a series of unfortunate events, the children had to stay in a different area of the school on this cold, crisp morning.  Dealing with change is not a strong suit for either one of my children, but I didn’t realize how much Pumpkin was affected by it until just then.  When she learned that she would not be going to the gym, per usual, the look in her eyes paralyzed me.  She asked me to sit with her, but I couldn’t.  So she asked for one more kiss before I left.  When I went to her, she grabbed me in an embrace that I will never forget.  She held on to me, as if she were trying absorb all of my essence to keep with her.  We released our embrace & I kissed her forehead before leaving the building.  As I walked back to my car, the tears began to sting my eyes.

Why did it affect me so?  My child was an instant reflection of me.  Pumpkin is much like me in that, while she CAN be social & chatty, she PREFERS to be by herself.  She can be awkward when in unfamiliar surroundings or when her routine is thrown off.  The anxiety I witnessed in her eyes catapulted me back to when I was a child.  All that she felt, I felt growing up.  All the unspoken questions: Do I have to talk to these kids?  Do they want to talk to me?  Are they talking ABOUT me?  What am I supposed to do now?

This entire experience reminded me of one very important thing.  Everyday, the littles grow a bit more independent, a bit more self-sufficient.  They excitedly run and say “Look at this, Mommy.”  They want to show how much they can do on their own.  While this is the ultimate goal, we as parents also have to remember…they are still our babies.  Pumpkin showed me that.  She showed me a vulnerability, a longing for “Mommy” that I hadn’t seen in her for a while.  The same little girl who didn’t need me to walk her to class because “I know where I’m going, Mommy.”  The same little girl who looks at me and sincerely asks “So, how was work, Mommy?” at the dinner table.  In this moment, this same little girl, who is so grown and independent, needed her Mommy.  She needed ME.  She needed my love, she needed my affection, she needed my tenderness.  She needed my assurance that her day would turn out ok, even with its rocky start.

Looking back at that experience, I am reminded of God’s love for us as His children. As we embark on this new year, we have entered with much uncertainty. Will it be the same as last year? Will it be WORSE??? What is our new normal really going to look like? It is in these times of uncertainty that we need to pull even closer to God. He knows the end and the beginning. We can rest assured in His peace. If 2020 taught us anything, it was that we depend on God. Looking back over the last 9 months, we have encountered things we never anticipated. Death at all-time highs, social unrest, racial injustice, famine, disease, and the list can go on and on…and on. But, through it all, God has sustained us. He has blessed in the midst of loss. He has remained faithful in the midst of deception. When He sees that we are struggling, He doesn’t just leave us to fend for ourselves. No matter how crazy the situations around us seem to be, we will never be out of His reach. Even when we don’t feel Him around us, He never leaves us alone. In fact, it is in those moments that He insulates us in His love, wrapping His arms around us, protecting us from the storms of life. He gives us the assurance of a good father, so we can rest knowing that everything is going to work out alright.

So let’s take 2021 by storm! Make a plan today to do EVERYTHING that God has given you to do. Live out your God-given destiny and purpose. Don’t be afraid be who God has called you to be. We can rest assured that no matter how big we grow and how high He takes us in Him, we’ll always be His babies.